locusts flipflop through winter beach walks with fish tank

dan and Arrow Jan 2019 beach

How do know it’s winter in Santa Barbara? (Hint: It has to do with flip flops.) Does anyone know which counties were most impacted by the locust swarm of 1875? And why is that more important than the locust swarm of 1931 or the Egyptian one of 1400BC? How did the ‘professionals’ handle installation of Dan’s aquarium? Did Tiger really get a haircut? (And why?) Was the Wolf Blood Super Moon Eclipse worth the hype?

sad and heavy coin collection sits on wap with googles

nazy and the boys Jan 2019

How will Tiger react to the ‘saddest song ever’? Hint: Oh no! It’s a song about a cake, a rainstorm and a recipe.) After Nazy and Dan’s storage treasurers yielded a bevy of 220V European appliances (and Christmas Tree lights) and personally hacked out chunks of the Berlin Wall, was there anything else to find? Of course there was — but why did Dan want to rent a forklift? Who wants to sit on someone’s ‘wap’ while wearing his swim googles? Read More...

Wicked weather romantically perfumes in double Labyrinth

family push

Will Dan’s romantic Christmas present take the cake? (Or was the cake left out in the rain?) Would it have been more well-received if it had arrived on time? Why did the postal authorities take a delivery route that featured a double labyrinth? Why did Dan think it was a Wicked(ly) good idea? Has the rainy season come to Santa Barbara? Why do they call it a ‘forehead’ if you only have one of them? Why does it take three people to push Azelle’s stroller? Read More...

Needlepoint Hot Air Balloons wear alarming stockings

on the Balloon

Will Dan’s acquisition of red velvet, personalized — but non-hand needlepointed Christmas stockings past muster with Nazy? Hint: It’s about as likely as a parakeet successfully operating the Large Hadron Collider at CERN.
Beep. Did you know that all of The Martin Family Christmas stockings have a toe that points to the left? (Neither did Dan.) Beep! Does a Hot Air Balloon ride include turbulence? Beep! Who thinks that a Hot Air Balloon journey is ‘very high and very fast’?How long will it take to find the battery-challenged defective smoke detector? Beep!! Read More...